Ted (born 1977), formerly known as Teddy and currently as Ted Clubberlang, is the titular deuteragonist of the franchise of the same name. He is John's best friend and brother figure, Lori's brother-in-law, Tami-Lynn's husband, and Steve and Helen's youngest adoptive son.
Ted is first given to John as a Christmas present and is named Teddy by the delighted boy. That night, John tells the inanimate Teddy he wishes he could really talk so they can be best friends "forever and ever".
The next morning, John wakes up and realizes that Teddy is not in bed with him. He gets out of his bed and searches everywhere in his room for Teddy. Soon, John discovers the young bear on the ground, alive and talking on his own. He tells John to hug him since he is his best friend. Startled, John terrifyingly asks Teddy if he just talked, to which he tells John not to look so surprised as he had wished for it. Now overjoyed since this means they can be friends forever, John hugs Teddy and then runs into the kitchen to tell his parents the good news. However, they do not believe him and instead humor him, with his mother Helen saying in a fake amazed tone, "Really? Well, isn't that exciting?". John insists that Teddy is really alive and proves it by introducing Teddy in front of his parents and the living bear wishes the parents a merry Christmas. Suddenly, John's parents get scared and John's father Steve tells John to come over to him, but John doesn't want to. Steve shouts at his son to come and he reluctantly does so, followed by his mother yelling at him to listen to his father. Then he tells his wife to get his gun, to which John is scared, telling his father not to, and Teddy innocently asks if it is a "hugging gun". After Steve tells Helen to get his gun and call the police, Teddy apologizes for scaring them as he never meant to and explains that he just wanted him and John to be best friends. After John and Teddy manage to convince them, Steve and Helen warm up to Teddy as their second son and an amazed Helen tells Teddy he is a Christmas miracle and is just like the "baby Jesus."
The news about Teddy coming to life rapidly spreads worldwide. This, in turn, makes Teddy a famous celebrity and child star. He even gets a guest-starring role on The Johnny Carson Show. After being welcomed and shaking his hand politely, Carson tells Teddy that he was expecting him to be taller, to which Teddy tells the host that he thought he was going to be funnier. This makes Carson and the audience laugh hysterically at Teddy's comeback joke.
One rainy night, John and Teddy are in their tent inside, promising to be "thunder buddies" for life. Then John asks Teddy if he promises they'll be friends forever and the young bear assures John he promises and will never back out.
27 years later in 2012, John and Ted are living at an apartment in Boston, smoking marijuana while watching television in the morning. Soon, John realizes he is late for work and Ted drives him to the car rental service where he works. Lori, John's girlfriend for 4 years, is still annoyed at the fact that John spends more time with Ted than with her. Ted invites a couple of hookers into their apartment for a party when John and Lori arrives home from a date.Unable to have Ted at their apartment, Ted finds a job as a grocery store clerk so he can afford a new apartment for himself. At a park, John and Ted meet a man named Donny and his son Robert, who unknowingly to them has been stalking Ted for years. Donny tries to buy Ted for his son, who is interested with owning Ted. During work, Ted flirts with another new clerk named Tami-Lynn. His irresponsible and inappropriate behavior with her promoted him. During a double-date with John and Lori, Tami-Lynn angers at Lori during a talk she misunderstood, leaving Lori shocked at her anger. John starts leaving work early to spend more bonding time with Ted, which upsets Lori.
One night, Ted calls John, who is at a party hosted by Lori's boss Rex, and tells him that Sam J. Jones, the actor who played their favorite superhero Flash Gordon, is one of the guests at his party in his apartment. At the party, John and Ted befriends their idol, Sam J. Jones. Upon John and Lori's break up due to his long abandonment at Rex's party, John angrily blames Ted for the mishap and tells him to no longer interact with him. A few days later, Ted visits John at the motel he is staying at. Still angry at him for what has happened, John says he wishes he had a Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas instead of Ted, angering him. They ended up fighting with each other, then later became best friends again after the fight. They decided to enter the Norah Jones concert at the Hatch Memorial Shell, which Lori and Rex are attending. In the backstage, it is revealed that Norah Jones and Ted are personal friends. Being friends with Norah Jones, she allowed John to sing "All Time High," the theme song of Octopussy, dedicated to Lori, but received negative feedback from the audience for his off-key tone and was booed off stage.
The next day, Ted visits Lori at her apartment where he encourages her to reconcile with John and tells her that it was all his fault that he caused the mishap and that he would leave their privacy alone. Seconds later after Lori leaves the apartment, Ted opens the door and sees Donny and Robert, who kidnaps him.
At their house, Ted realizes that Donny and Robert have been stalking him ever since his fame after he saw numerous pictures of him at their wall. At Robert's bedroom, Donny explains to Ted that every time he saw Ted on television, he always dreamed for a teddy bear who had a life like him. Donny also tells Ted that every time he asks for a teddy bear, his father would disregard, and that he promised himself he would never say no to his son. Robert and Ted then plays a game of hide and seek, where Ted hides and uses his hiding time to call John. However, Donny spots Ted and cuts the telephone wire to end the call. John, who was with a conversation with Lori at her car, was able to receive a call before Donny's discovery and gets the paper that Donny gave to him at the park at an earlier scene. Upon Donny's discovery, Donny and Robert flee away with Ted. During their escape, John and Lori follows them in a car chase. Donny and Robert's car crashes into a fire hydrant, but continues the escape to Fenway Park. Donny and Ted's outrun leads to the Green Monster, where Ted tries to climb one of the light towers. During Ted's climb, Donny grabs Ted's foot and falls into the field torn in half. Ted, who is dying, tells John to never lose Lori again since she is the most important part of his life, even more than Ted. Upon Ted telling John, he eventually loses his magical life and dies.
John and Lori rush back to their apartment to sew him back together as John cannot accept his best friend's death. Lori tells him that their plan will not work. They instead cover his ripped body with cloth. Later that night, Lori sees a shooting star and makes a wish. The following day, John takes one more look at the deceased Ted. A few seconds later, Ted's eyes start to blink with his magical life restored. As Ted finds out that Lori wished for his life back, she says that she actually wished for her life back. John then proposes to Lori as Ted watches them kiss. At John and Lori's wedding at a church in Cambridge, Massachusetts, Ted becomes the best man at their wedding, while Sam J. Jones, who reveals to be an ordained minister, presides the wedding. Ted and Sam J. Jones then end the day with a flash jump.
At the end of the film, the narrator reveals that Ted and Tami-Lynn are still dating and that he was promoted to store manager at the grocery store he is working at, despite his irresponsible behavior.
Ted returned in the sequel.
85th Academy AwardsEdit
At the 85th Academy Awards on February 24, 2013 (which was hosted by Seth MacFarlane), Mark Wahlberg (John Bennett) and Ted presented the Academy Award for Best Sound Editing. During their presentation, Ted mentioned Alan Arkin, Daniel Day-Lewis, and Joaquin Phoenix as "hot Jewish". Ted asks Wahlberg if he is Jewish. Wahlberg responded that he is a Catholic. Ted later states that he is Jewish, but Wahlberg denies. Ted claims he was born "Theodore Shapiro", would like to donate money to Israel, and will continue to work in Hollywood forever. Wahlberg tells Ted that he is an idiot and that he won't do the sequel with him.
- John was his best friend forever and then he grew fame, guest-starring on The Johnny Carson Show. No matter how famous he became, Teddy never forgot about his friendship with John and has always been at his side. As a child, Ted was a happy, friendly, selfless, giving, sweet-natured bear who claimed that
However, as he grew up, Ted became an irresponsible, toxic waste as he was caught with mushrooms and him being sent to jail, and after that, he has been drinking beer and smoking marijuana with John on the couch watching their favorite movie Flash Gordon. Despite this, he is still a very big-hearted and lovable bear, who always loves and cares for his friends.
- Ted is often thought to be the titular protagonist of the first film.
- There have been rumors that said Danny Anderson and Zachary Gordon were the voices of young Ted, despite Zane Cowans voicing him.